Having Hope For Tomorrow
by TheUSofCalzona
Summary: To rise from error to truth is rare and beautiful. - Victor Hugo. What if the kiss Hermione and Ron shared in the chamber was not their first. What if Ron was so angry at Malfoy Manor because he and Hermione had already tasted what could be? Find Out.


To rise from error to truth is rare and beautiful.  
Victor Hugo

Notes: I was thinking that maybe Hermione and Ron started before we knew they did. Maybe that's why Malfoy Manor hurt him so badly. So I found this quote and the story just kind of wrote itself. I hope you all enjoy it. It was a pleasure to write.

Yenny as always you made my day.

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Ron Weasley never felt so infinitesimal in his entire life. He knew leaving over thoughts from the locket was irrational. He knew that the images were not real, that the images of Hermione were not real; the images of her loving Harry, making love to him, having his children, them having a life together was not reality but a fantasy that the locket created. And yet even after the locket was no longer hanging around his neck, even after coming back and seeing Hermione and Harry were not together, even after all he had been through he could not get those images of the only woman he could ever love out of his mind.

Ron was sitting on his cot 3 weeks after he got back. He and Hermione had not talked about the night he left but were talking again. But still the images would not leave his brain.

Harry was on watch and Hermione had just come off watch. She was tired and dirty and looked disheartened. She grabbed a change of clothes and went to the very undersized bathroom and took a quick shower and changed into slightly cleaner clothes.

She walked passed Ron and offered a mumbled good night. She pulled the curtain around her bed and laid her head on her musty pillow. She let the tears that she held back all day fall and yet she made no sound. She cried silently so not to cause concern. After about an hour she heard Ron's deep baritone voice. She guessed he was just passed the curtain.

"I know saying this to you when you're sleeping doesn't do justice to you. I know that you deserve to hear these words in the light of day. I know that and still I can't tell you, because if you reject them I would have no reason to live." Ron's tone was one of urgency and ache. He sounded as if his heart was being slowly cut from his chest. Hermione wiped the tears off her face and just lay there prepared to hear his words.

"I left you. For the first time since Halloween in our first year; I left you. I didn't trust you, I didn't think you wanted me, I didn't think you loved me." Ron's voice hitched on those last words.

"I always loved you Ron. God help me I still do. I just never thought you would love me. I always picked you, I always wanted you." Hermione thought as her tears started falling again. But Hermione didn't move she let Ron talk to her through the mask that the curtain provided.

"Hermione when I had the locked on it made me think things. Some of the thoughts had always been there; I'm not good enough for you, I'm not smart enough for you, simply that I was not enough for you; those thoughts I have had most of the time I have known you." Ron said as if he was repeating a fact for class. There was no room in his voice for question.

"Don't you know you are everything I have ever wanted? Don't you know you are the only one I want, the only one I need? You are so much better than good enough. You're everything" Hermione's mind screamed as she heard Ron speak. She closed her eyes and pulled her pillow tight against her chest.

"But the locket showed me things like they were facts. You kissing Harry, you loving him, having a life with him, but the hardest was when it showed me you making . . . making love to him because you looked so blissful." Ron's voice was turning a little acidic. Hermione could tell that just saying these things were bring the images back into Ron's mind.

"You would say things to me when you . . . made love to him. You told me how I could never please you like he did, how I'm not man enough for you, how I repulsed you, how I would never be able to keep you happy." Ron's voice cracked. Hermione knew he was crying at the thoughts in his head.

"I don't want Harry. I don't want him to ever touch me like that. I only want your hands on me; I only want you to be inside of me." Hermione couldn't remember ever crying so hard in her life and making so little sound. She knew if she made a sound Ron would go and she would never hear him finish talking to her. She needed him to finish.

"Hermione I know I left you but I will never leave you again. The moment I did I wished I was back with you. I couldn't get your voice out of my head, I couldn't get my thoughts off thinking if you were ok or not, I couldn't do anything but pray. I know most wizards think muggle religion is silly but I prayed like you showed me and somehow I ended back with you." Ron's tone was a little lighter now. He didn't sound as if all hope was lost.

"Hermione I love you, I want to be the man that you marry, the man whose children you carry, the man who grows old with you, the man you make love to. And one day I will tell you all those things in the light of day." Ron pulled the curtain back and kissed Hermione's forehead thinking she was still asleep.

Hermione brought her arms up and wrapped them around Ron's body. Ron froze when she did. He was waiting for the pain she would inflict on him for saying all those things to her. But the pain never came.

"Stay with me?" Were the words that came out of Hermione's mouth. Ron swallowed and nodded slowly. He moved so he was lying next to Hermione. He didn't dare to lie under her blanket, he didn't have that right yet.

Hermione lifted up the thin blanket and nodded to Ron so he would know she wanted him close to her. She hadn't been warm in a very long time. She knew only Ron could truly make her warm. Hermione laid on her side facing Ron, Ron was on his side facing Hermione.

"I have been in love with you since I was 14 years old. I have dreamed of what our life could be like. I dreamed of what our children would look like, sound like, and act like. I dreamed of making love to only one man in 4 years; you. Please don't end us before we start. Please don't tie my hands and take away my say in us. I love you Ronald Weasley with all my heart and everything I am and everything I have." Hermione said letting her tears fall. She pulled Ron as close as she could. Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione's smaller frame and held her tight. Hermione buried her face in Ron's stronger frame and held on for dear life.

"I love you so much Hermione." Ron whispered into her ear. Hermione could feel his warmth penetrating her body. It felt so good after being cold for so long.

Hermione just laid there enjoying the feel of Ron's in her arms, of being in his. She enjoyed this closeness that both the physical space and their words had brought them too. She didn't know if it was an hour or a year that they laid there before she spoke; time meant nothing at this point.

"When you left you left because you thought you weren't good enough right? Hermione asked in a restrained voice.

"Yes." Ron answered in a thick voice that fell heavy in the air.

Hermione lifted Ron's hand to her chest right over her heart. Ron could feel it beating; it was as fast as his. "As long as my heart beats in my chest I will both love you and think you are so much more than good enough." Hermione said with a passion that filled Ron's heart like water filling a glass.

Ron looked into Hermione's deep coffee colored eyes. "I never once needed a person the way I need you. You are the reason I want to be a better person and a stronger man." Ron said in a voice that sent chills down Hermione's spine.

"Can I kiss you?" Hermione asked looking in the cobalt blue eyes she loved so much.

"I would like that very much." Ron said giving Hermione the first lopsided grin he had since he had been back.

Hermione raised herself up on her elbows and looked down at Ron. She smiled before bringing her lips down softly on Ron's. The kiss turned much more passionate a moment later. Hermione ran her tongue along Ron's bottom lip and Ron opened his mouth quickly letting Hermione's tongue stoke his.

Hermione brought her hands up and wrapped them around Ron's neck so they were pressing their bodies tightly together. Hermione's hands tangled into Ron's red hair a moment later and Ron's hands were holding tightly onto Hermione's waist. Hermione let out soft moans into Ron's mouth and Ron let out a deep groan when Hermione shifted her body to fully cover his.

After all the air was out of their lungs they broke apart. Hermione lay down so she was lying on top of Ron. Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione's middle and just held her close to him. 6 years of frustration, passion, fighting, love, lust, worship, devotion and disappointment came out in that kiss. It was the first kiss for either that held within it a promise for tomorrow.

"That was worth every nightmare for." Ron said playing with the lose strands of hair that had fallen from Hermione's pony tail.

"Yeah it was." Hermione said against Ron's chest. "Do you think you might like to be my boyfriend?" Hermione asked turning a light shade of pink. She needed what they had to have a name. She had been in a place with him for far too long that didn't have a name.

"I'd like that." Ron said softly. "I always thought you would be the one to ask me not the other way around." Ron said chuckling. Hermione slid off Ron and curled up by his side.

"It does fit us doesn't it?" Hermione said with a little smile. She decided rather quickly she liked being held by Ron. She had never thought herself the type of woman who would like something like that and yet she did very much so.

"You know the first time I knew I was in love with you?" Ron asked looking down at Hermione. The fact she was snuggled tight in his arms was not lost on him. Hermione shook her head no.

"It was 2nd year when you were in the hospital wing I felt something that I later knew was love. I use to sneak up to your bedside and sit with you. I would hold your hand and talk to you about everything. I made sure you had extra blankets because I knew you got cold. I didn't know if you could hear me or not but I felt so frightened and so inadequate I had to do something. I fell in love with you sitting by your bedside." Ron said holding Hermione a little tighter as he told her something no one else knew existed. Hermione brought her hand up and put the hair from his eyes so she could look into them. She thought a moment before she spoke.

"I could hear you." Hermione said in a very small voice. Ron looked away and Hermione knew his face was a deep red. "That's went I first felt it too. I tried to move to give you a sign but I couldn't. I wanted to be able to hug you and tell you how much you meant to me. But after I was able to move again you stopped coming to see me at night and I thought . . . I just couldn't get rejected." Hermione said as a single tear ran down her face. Ron used his thumb to remove it.

"I could never reject you." Ron whispered in the darkened makeshift room. "I held everything inside because you deserve so much better than what I could ever give you. You deserve everything you dream of." Ron said turning his face away from Hermione again. He couldn't break down, he couldn't be weak.

"If I deserve everything I dream of then I'm holding it." Hermione said in a tone that betrayed her emotions. She hated Ron talking about himself like he was.

"You are so wonderful Ronald Weasley. You are smart and I know that because when you do let your guard down and think no one is looking you can write better than I ever could. You make me laugh at times when I can't even remember what a smile feels like. You have the most amazing red hair that I loving looking at. Your blue eyes are the most breathtaking things I have ever looked at. I have never seen a body I want to touch like I want to touch yours. But there is one thing above all else that makes me know that you're worth it; you make me feel safe in a time when nothing is." Hermione voice was full of passion and warmth but tipped in fire. Hermione once again let her tears fall. She had cried more tonight than in the last 3 months.

"Please don't cry." Ron pleaded as he shifted more on his side. He moved down so he and Hermione were eye to eye. He wiped the tears for Hermione's face. "Please Hermione don't cry because I'm an arse. I hate when I make you cry." Ron begged. Hermione's tears were cutting him worse than a knife ever could.

"Then stop saying you're not worth it. You are so much more than worth it." Hermione said in a hoarse tone. "I can't tell you any more to make you see how amazing you are. I have my own insecurities to deal with." Hermione said in a hushed tone as if trying to keep a secret.

"You are beautiful, smart, and funny and the brightest witch of your age, what more would you like?" Ron asked in awe that someone who in his eyes was as close to perfect as one could be. The idea that she didn't see herself like he does was a little surprising.

"I'm a know it all, I'm bossy, I'm stubborn, I have a bad temper, I can be boring, annoying, I can be arrogant. Just because I'm smart doesn't mean much. And you might think I'm beautiful but you're the only one." Hermione said repeating the faults she thought would be more than apparent to anyone who spent more than an hour with her.

Ron shook his head and Hermione could see the fight in his mind. Hermione never once questioned Ron would think about her what she thought about herself.

"You are smart as anyone who has ever walked the halls of Hogwarts. You have a wit and humor that only people who are close to you can truly appreciate because it's like a razor it's so sharp. You stick to your beliefs and morals because you have a true sense of right and wrong that most people twice your age can't comprehend. You have an undying passion that is like a bright light in a dark room, people are drawn to it because it's so remarkable they can't look away. And if you ever tell me again you are not beautiful I will get a pensive and we will revisit the walk down the stairs you took before the Yule Ball. Because every woman in the room that night could have only prayed they looked half as perfect as you. And yet right this moment, in my old shirt and a pair of running pants you look 100 times most stunning than that night because it's the real you, it's the effortless and natural beauty that makes my heart race, my blood boil, and every inch of skin feel like it's on fire." Ron spoke in a tone that was as fearless and passionate as Hermione had ever heard a person speak before. If he was not talking to her about her she might have been afraid of the hunger in his eyes. Hermione looked back at Ron with an intensity he had only seen her give the rarest of books.

"You are the most breathtaking, loving, wonderful man I have ever known. And you just did something I thought was impossible; you made me fall in love with you a little more." Hermione said in a tone that made the hair on the back of Ron's neck stand up.

Hermione moved forward and let her lips meet Ron's in a kiss that was like all consuming lava. She felt as if her very soul was on fire. Every fiber of her being was tingling and lighting up with a pleasure that had very little to do with physical pleasure and much more to do with the joining of souls that she thought was near impossible outside of romance novels and chick flicks.

Ron's hand rested on her hip as a sign of something Hermione might call reverence if her brain could process anything at the moment. His other hand was cupping her cheek and supporting her head. Hermione's left hand was under Ron's hand and playing with the hair on the back of his neck and her right hand was running the length of his back under his shirt. Hermione tongue was exploring the caverns of Ron's mouth and Ron's tongue was stroking hers. The stubble on Ron's chin was making Hermione skin tingle even more. It was quite possibly the greatest moment of either of their lives.

Ron broke away panting as if he had just ran a mile in a moment's time. He looked at Hermione and tried to encode everything about her to memory; the way her skin was flushed but not as badly as went she missed a question on a test, the way her hair lay on in soft waves because it still was not yet dry, the way her eyes were almost smoky.

Hermione was in turn breathing heavily; her chest was heaving and not helping Ron's current start at all. She too was trying to encode Ron's appearance to memory. The very tips of his ears were bright red but it faded as her eyes moved down. His eyes were the most breathtakingly cobalt she had ever seen, they were clear and bright and perfect. His chin held the evidence he had not shaved in a few days, but Hermione loved the rugged look it gave him. Hermione could feel her way she had over his body and somehow it made her feel safe to have him pressing against her. It was the knowledge that she could have that effect on him that made Hermione's smile just a little wider, made her a little more confident.

"Do you know how much I want to make love to you at this moment?" Hermione asked in an almost quiet voice even knowing Ron wanted it just as much as she did.

"I have an idea of how much yes." Ron said breathing in the scent of roses, the scent that Ron knew was Hermione and something that never failed to make him smile even if it was just a little smile.

"Have you ever done it before?" Hermione asked looking at Ron's lips not in his eyes. She wanted to hear no even if it was a lie. If she looked in his eyes she would be able to tell. As long as they were no kids she didn't know about, she truly didn't care.

Ron knew Hermione's eyes were looking away and he knew why. He lifted her chin so she was looking in his eyes once more.

"I only have in my dreams with you." Ron said in the most honest voice Hermione had ever heard. "Lavender and I were just using each other to get to the people we wanted. We both knew it. We rarely spent time together outside the common room. And when we kissed, I truly was thinking about you the whole time." Ron said praying that Hermione would kill him right away and not hurt him for his stupidity.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Hermione said relieved Ron wasn't lying to her.

"You're not mad?" Ron asked relieved he still had all his body parts.

"I can't be mad at you for Lavender. She was as much my fault as yours. If I had told you how I felt you never would have been with her. I'm not saying it didn't hurt but I'm past being mad." Hermione said in a dispassionate voice.

"Have you ever . . . are you still a virgin too?" Ron asked holding Hermione a little tighter to his body. Not knowing her life outside of magic and what she did at home made that question more up in the air than Ron would have liked. He hated himself for it but he would be just a little hurt if she wasn't. But he knew her heart had never belonged to another.

"Ron you are the first proper kiss I have gotten. I never had a boyfriend before. Viktor kissed my hand once and my cheek twice." Hermione said turning a little redder than she would have liked.

Ron furled his brow. He was a little confused. "But that's not what . . . oh shit." Ron said slapping himself on the forehead. "Can you kill me now and save me the mess?" Ron asked shaking his head and groaning.

"I'm not going to kill you." Hermione said moving his hand away from his face. "I will make you a deal; I will forgive you for everything you have done up till now and you forgive me for everything I have done up till now and we move forward. I really don't want to rehash 6 years worth of jealousy." Hermione said biting her lip hoping Ron would agree.

Ron thought for a moment and nodded his head yes. "Deal." Ron said with his trademark lopsided grin. "Seal it with a kiss?" Ron asked with some hope in his voice.

Hermione pressed her lips against Ron's again. But pulled back before the kiss could add the passion they both craved.

"We can't make love tonight." Hermione said in a shaky voice. "I love you and you are the only man I will ever give my body to, but our first time should be in a real bed; not on a cot, in a tent, in the middle of the woods during this mission. We both deserve better than that." Hermione's voice told Ron that if he asked her too she would give in and let him take her virginity on this cot, in this tent, in the middle of the woods during this mission but for the first time in the 6 years of knowing Hermione he put up no fight. This was an all or nothing decision. He would never ask her for rights to her body she wasn't ready to give to him. He respected her far too much for that.

"Then we wait." Ron said kissing Hermione's forehead softly. He could tell from the way her body tensed she had not expected that. But she relaxed again quickly.

"Thank you." Hermione said softly. "If you asked me I would have you know." Hermione said in just a whisper. She turned red again and looked down.

"I know that's why I'm not asking." Ron said kissing the top of her head. Hermione kissed the spot right above his heart and smiled into his chest. "Are you tried? I know you were on watch before I came over." Ron asked. Hermione had been up for almost 20 hours at this point.

"Not really. I don't sleep much anymore." Hermione admitted. She knew Ron wouldn't like that.

"Why Mione?" Ron asked softly. He was hoping being her boyfriend entitled him to be able to use Mione again. He liked being the only one who got to call her that. Hermione gave him a little smile.

"I don't feel safe when I sleep. I keep thinking if I fall asleep I might never wake up." Hermione said with raw emotion in her voice. "And I keep having a dream where you die. I get up like 5 times every night and go check your bed." Hermione admitted for the first time. She had done it every night since Ron had come back.

"Mione I won't die. I know I can't promise that but I will do everything I can not to." Ron said holding Hermione close to his chest so she could hear the beating of his heart. Proof he was alive and well. Hermione closed her eyes and just focused on that sound.

"Will you sleep with me?" Hermione asked after he lifted her head. "I need to hold you and feel you in my arms. I can't have a panic attack every time I wake up." Hermione was pleading with just the tone of her voice.

"I check on you too you know." Ron said before he answered her question. "It would save me just as many trips as it would you. So if you want to share your bed with me I will be more than happy to share my blanket." Ron said with a hint of a laugh in his voice.

"I can live with that." Hermione smiled. "I am always cold at night. Maybe having you next to me will keep me warm." Hermione said with a smile.

"You can use me as your pillow and heater." Ron said noticing how Hermione seemed to like having her head on his chest. But then again he liked it too.

"Thanks I like that idea." Hermione said kissing the underside of his jaw.

Ron got out of Hermione's bed and went and got his pillow and blanket. Hermione handed him her pillow and spread the two blankets over them. Hermione's head once again went to Ron's chest. His arms found their way to her middle. There was something that was almost instinctual with the way their bodies curved to fit the others.

Ron had never felt as loved as he did in this moment; Hermione never as safe and warm. Hermione's offer to have Ron sleep with her at night was more than just for the week or the month or the year; it was for the rest of their lives. Ron knew that and accepted that from now to the end of time he would share a bed with the woman he loved but more importantly than being in her bed he found himself in her heart and for the first time knowing he was in her heart. Hermione looked up and Ron and smiled; for once the images in his head stilled.

"We should to go sleep. It will be morning sooner that either of us would like." Hermione said closing her eyes and rested her head on Ron's chest again.

"Good night Mione; I love you." Ron whispered before closing his eyes and letting the weariness that filled him take over. He knew tomorrow was far too close.

"Good night my knight; I love you too." Hermione said as she extinguished the single light in the tent and fell into the best sleep she had had in her entire time she had slept on her cot.

Outside the tent Harry smiled into the darkness. He had again something he thought he had lost during this journey; hope for a better tomorrow.


End file.
